the secret is out

if you have been reading my blog for more than 2 years, than you are familiar with my deepest, darkest secret that i shared.  writing that out was one of the hardest things i have ever done.  the next hardest thing?  telling my parents about it.  

it's hard to believe it has been a little over 2 years since that ex and i broke up.  it's even harder to believe that i kept that secret from my parents this entire time.  after talking to my therapist about it multiple times, the time came where i felt i was ready to tell my parents the truth.

to say i was scared and nervous and emotional is an understatement.  i had no idea how they were going to react, what they were going to say, whether they would ask questions or be mad or sad or disappointed with me.  sitting on the couch across the room from them was intimidating.  but, i did it.  i slowly told them what went on, how i felt, how i feel, and what i learned.  

telling my parents was one of the bravest things i have ever done.  i knew that it would answer a lot of questions for them, for me. why i went through a period of depression.  why i struggled with school.  why i struggled financially.  i instantly felt the weight lift off of my shoulders.  i felt like a new person.  

i'm still working on repairing my relationship with my parents and with myself.  i work hard everyday to remind myself that i am worth more than i once thought i was.  i know that one day i will love myself more than i ever thought possible, and i can't wait for that day to come.